Here’s page 3 all done.
If I can ever find my circle template, I might go back and adjust the last panel a little.
Give me feedback if you got it! Oh and click for a larger view.
January 17, 2009 by eldrawingbriano
Here’s page 3 all done.
If I can ever find my circle template, I might go back and adjust the last panel a little.
Give me feedback if you got it! Oh and click for a larger view.
are you ready for some cheesecake? and are you ready for some beef?
Now for the cake: Frame 2 is stinkin’ awesome! It’s a great depiction of imminent danger, and you didn’t spare any expense on the background. The lettering is great, though the bubble could use some work, lol. But the guy and the plane are both spot on. It really gives off a sense of urgency for the guy on foot.
Frame 3 is a great follow up. On closer inspection, the guy looks a little wonky, like maybe you should have drawn him out w/o the pack first to get the length of his back right as it seems a little too long. But that’s my only complaint. Again, the lettering is really cool. It’s a great effect and completely appropriate for those near-hit bullet shots.
Now eat it too!: I also like the irregularity of the 4th frame, though wish it was bigger so there wasn’t so much empty space. Maybe you could feather out the scenery around the scope so it’s blurred into nothing or something? I dunno, but it’s still a good shot. nice footsteps.
Now that I look at the “Oh Crap!” the P could use some work. space that puppy out.
Now for the beef: the first thing that you see in the first frame is that plane. that’s cool, it’s a nice plane. It’s obviously turning around… gonna get ‘em self some running man!
but that plane’s positioning is no bueno! It’s a completely overhead shot of the plane, drawn so large it’s either in front of or directly above the guy. Planes take awhile to loop, so he’d have to pass the dude and come back around with enough room to align his shot before he was close enough to shoot again. He’s way too close. But other than that, it’s a boring angle on that plane. The 2nd frame is a great angle, but it’s still a head-on shot. You’ve got one that’s completely overhead, and one that’s completely straight forward. The second one completely works, so it doesn’t qualify for my beef, but the first one doesn’t, and does (make sense of that?).
So it seems like you’re playing it safe, when now’s the time (while you’re experimenting with an awesome spontaneous story) to push the limits, add some more perspective and angles on that plane. Let us see the tail foreshortened and large guns a’blazing from……somewhere on the plane!
I push you, because you take criticism well, and you can do better.
If it doesn’t come out looking perfect, that’s okay! You’ve only gotten better, and probably learned something, eh? EH!?
Overall, it’s still an intriguing visual story, and I want to know what happens next. It’s very well drawn, and it’s good to see you drawing sequentials. Keep up the good, difficult, but rewarding work!
4 comes after 3… but i don’t see 4.
i know page 4 is finished. it better find its way up here.